Monday, January 10, 2011

Art: 1 , Sex: 0

Up until a week ago, the top search term for my blog was "wild animal sex" or variations thereof, such as "animal sex spain" and "animal sex with a girl".  Strange, since there is very little sex going on in this blog. Erotic fiction, sure, but sex, not so much, and much less any sort of animal sex.

Except for this post.
Animal sex?

That post brought out a whole slew of zoophilists out of the woodwork.  Well, I guess I should give them the benefit of the doubt...they might just be people looking for some serious scientific sort of information about animal reproduction, but somehow I get the feeling that most of them are not here for that.

Sorry guys, you're in the wrong place.. No kinky stuff here.

But fortunately the tides have changed, although probably not because fewer people are searching for animal sex.  It's just that I did a post mentioning Las Meninas, a painting by Diego Velázquez, and there must be a lot of people that are interested in that, because suddenly "las meninas" has overtaken "wild animal sex" as my blog's most popular search term...and it's been a real landslide.  It is comforting to think that there are more people out there looking for "las meninas" than for "wild animal sex", but I'm afraid my blog won't help them out any more than it did the animal sex crowd.  There's not much serious information about the painting to be had here.  But if they want to know about menina-lights, hey, that I know something about.

So it's art: 1, sex: 0.  Surprising.

But what really baffles me is how people end up here while looking for "las meninas".  I tried googling it and I ended up looking through the first 40 pages that turned up.  My blog is nowhere in there.  So, how many pages do people sift through before arriving here?  They must be really interested in Las Meninas.  And why don't they just go to Wikipedia or to the Museo del Prado website?  Wouldn't that be the most logical thing to do?  There's lots of good stuff in those places, but here, just some lame holiday lights.  So what is making people look through so many pages to get here?  With "wild animal sex" my blog turns up on the 4th page (odd considering how little of that there is here), so one would think that it would be easier for the perverts to get here than for the culturally curious, but it seems that's not the case.

Just what is it about those Meninas?  Am I missing something here?

Well, whatever.  At least I know my blog is attracting a new sort of public, but there are still plenty of those "other guys" popping up here all the time.  So here's some advice to them: go somewhere else...but don't do it at work, otherwise something like this might happen:

I'm thinking that guy should have checked this link out first.  Yep, that's right, it's a whole page on how not to get caught looking at porn.  Although I think that maybe the guy in the video should learn some more basic things first.  Like where the volume control is on his computer.

Actually, there are a multitude of pages with advice on how not to get caught looking at porn, but for some funny reason there isn't a single one about not getting caught looking at art.  That could be useful for those artistically inclined teens that don't want their friends to catch them ogling The Mona Lisa, instead of looking at porn like every other kid their age.

Hey, I wonder what would happen if we outlawed art?  Would there suddenly be thousands of teenage boys hiding art magazines under their beds?


  1. That has so got to be staged. How dumb could you be?

    Good lord.

  2. Cómo me he leido con el video.

    Pues no se si lo leiste en mi blog, pero a mi me pasó algo parecido.

    Durante bastante tiempo la foto más vista de mi Flickr fue una de cuando yo era niña y sobre mi cama se veían mis muñecas, yo puse notas, diciendo que esas eran mis muñecas favoritas que hacían pis y pupu, y resulta que era la más vista porque buscaban, chica, pis (en inglés) Tardé en darme cuenta, porque no sabía ver cómo llegaban a mnis fotos, y luego corregí todo.

    Ahora mismo estoy recibiendo spam de un anónimo de alargamiento de pene y ya estoy cansada.

  3. Overall, I think we readers of your blog are slowly being revealed as the geeky nincompoops that everyone in our junior highs knew we were. We thought we could lurk around and pretend to be cool with this new blog technology, but the damn google machine has outed us.

  4. My blog doesn't have any search keywords listed but for some reason the website referred someone to my site. I'm a little afraid to click on the link; what if the site is Chicago Mover Sexperts instead of Chicago Movers Experts? Another site for those "wild animal sex" people??

  5. Hi sweetness,

    I am fairly uninterested in animal sex. Well if my single budgie starts nesting, I might contemplate it more. However, i spend a lot of time in farm, mostly horses and lately have witnessed the extraction of semen from a horse for study and correct placement in mares. it is nothing short of dangerous, slimy and noisy :)

  6. Orneta: Oh I know, but it's probably not too far from the truth. One of my brothers-in-law, who worked as a programmer for a large company, told me that they could see that more than half the people visited porn pages...and they even had one guy who spent his entire working day on those sites.

    giozi: Sí, lo leí. Bueno, por lo menos arreglar una foto es relativamente fácil...yo tendría que quitar el post entero, y como eso no lo quiero hacer, pues, así se queda. De todas maneras, la gente que llega buscando eso solo se queda unos segundos en el blog, así que tampoco me preocupa mucho. El spam es un rollo, por eso yo he puesto moderación en los posts que tienen mas de 14 días...así me lo he quitado casi del todo.

    Jocelyn: Oh, so that explains all those visits from Turkey looking for Las Meninas... ;D

    Bud: Don't you have a stat tracker installed? If you don't, you's very entertaining to see what people do on your blog. Now I'm really curious about that site...I think I'll go check it out just for fun. I'll let you know what I find out. ;D

    Minka: Hail to the Ice Queen! It's good to see you back in the blog world. Hmm, that horse experience doesn't sounds a bit icky...but if it brings some adorable little foals into the world, then it's okay. Still, I'm not sure I'd want to watch!