To my fabulous aerobics instructor, Oh:
Oh, how we will miss you! While you are off on your honeymoon, sitting in the sun on a lovely beach in Thailand somewhere, a couple of substitute teachers have been sent to take your place.
Not to worry. In the end it hasn't been as bad as we expected.
Actually, I've been enjoying myself...not at all like when we had Elephant Boy and Cheerleader Girl.
The Monday and Wednesday classes are being given by a girl who usually teaches another group at our center. And she's nice, very nice, but (there's always a but, isn't there?) she's somehow hard to follow. I'd been to her classes before and I couldn't quite figure out what it was. At first I though it was just a matter of getting used to her. You always need a few classes to really get the hang of a new instructor, right? But no, time passed, and while I'm used to her, it still takes me much longer to catch on to her choreographies than with other teachers. And people have started dropping like flies...now only three of us show up anymore.
Then someone told me she was left handed.
So, maybe that's it. It could be conceivable that left-handedness might affect the way she teaches. But no, that's not really it either. In aerobics and step you work both sides of the body equally and the choreographies are mostly symmetrical, and hers are no different. Well, after careful observation, I did come to the conclusion that they are different, but it has nothing to do with handedness. It's that she combines the steps in an awkward way...they're just not put together in a fluid manner. And that makes a huge difference. Then there's her cueing. If you want people to follow you, you have to let them know what you are going to do, not what you are doing. Sounds simple, right? It's not. Giving cues at the right time is really what makes or breaks an aerobics instructor. It shouldn't be, "I'm stepping on my right foot right this minute", but "I'm going to "step on my right foot on the count of four". And I think it's one of those things that are intuitive. I guess it's a skill that probably can be taught, but unless you feel it, you just won't ever completely get it right.
The other day she was wondering why there were so few people coming to her classes. Could it be the hour? Could it be the weather? I just didn't have the heart to tell her the real reason.
And the other teacher?
Well, they sent us a guy. And when I heard "guy instructor", I immediately thought of Elephant Boy, and the few others that have come after him, none of them good. But this guy. Wow! He's incredible! Okay, he's overly theatrical, with lots of winking and clowning around, but his choreographies are brilliant. And fluid. And beautifully complex. And the most amazing thing is, he doesn't say a word. All his cues are hand signals and the occasional whistle. Most unusual. And I have been having a ball. It's been fun. Just plain fun. Which hardly ever happens with subs, since all the really good people are already busy teaching somewhere else.
Here's a video of this guy, so you can see for yourself. He's the one in the black Nike shirt, and he seems positvely subdued in this video compared to what he's like in class. I guess the other guy (who I actually know and can say is a lovely person, in spite of all his silly antics) was clowning around enough for the both of them that day.
Anyway, that's what we've been up to. And it's been fun. But now we're ready for you to come back, because this guy cranks up the music so loud that if he stays much longer, I'll end up completely deaf.
You'll be back when?
Sorry, didn't quite catch that. Could you repeat please? A little louder this time.