Tuesday, November 2, 2010

MF'ing Blog Tour

What, no Halloween post?  Yeah, I'll be doing one of those, but just a little late, since I have something else that I promised to post first.

A good blogger friend of mine (and author extraordinare) has asked me to be a part of the MF'ing Blog Tour. Now, that "MF" doesn't stand for what you're thinking...we don't do that kind of language over here. (okay we do, but we usually throw in lots of *$%! to seem just a little more refined).   No, this the Mercury Falls Blog Tour...or maybe that's the Mercury's Falling Blog Tour...not really sure. Anyway, for those of you who don't know, Mercury Falls, is Rob Kroese's (otherwise known as Diesel) incredibly funny book.

And since I've been given the option to either do a review, an interview, or erotic fiction featuring Diesel as the male lead, I've decided to go with the third option. Why? Because I'm guessing that no one else will, and if anything, we strive for originality at this blog.
It is the perfect summer day.  I can feel the sun's rays sinking into my skin as I lay lazily on a lounge chair on my upstairs sun deck.  The sun's heat contrasts sharply with the cool glass of iced tea in my hand.  It is even too hot to read Mercury Falls, and, believe me, that is hot! My eyes, half open, roam around in search of their objective.  The same objective they have every single afternoon that I spend lying in the sun.  Today they find it next to the hedge on my left.  You.  The well-sculpted muscles of your bare torso ripple, glistening in the sun, as you raise your arms to clip the highest part of the hedge.  A drop of sweat slides slowly down your back.  My eyes follow it, wandering from the nape of your neck, down your tanned skin, and they finally land where the drop disappears, where the top of your jeans meet the small of your back.  I know your name...Diesel. I've heard it many times over the garden fence, but all this time one question remains in my mind.  What color are your eyes?  So many afternoons...but I still don't know.

Something inside me stirs, suddenly I can't bear the heat anymore.  I stand up, and my bare feet guide me towards you.  I move silently, cautiously, feeling like a cat that stalks its prey, preparing to pounce.

I go downstairs, with the vision of that one lucky bead of sweat still in my head. Once in the garden, I open the gate.

Now I am behind you.  You continue your work, not realizing I am there.  I raise my hand.  My finger, which seems to have a mind of its own, lands just below your sun-kissed hair, and it traces the path where, just moments before, the drop of sweat traveled.  Your skin is smooth, warm, perfect.  You turn around and our eyes meet.  Now I know the answer.  Your eyes are blue.  Not a cold, icy blue.  No.  They are the deep blue of a tropical sea.  For some reason Madonna's "Isla Bonita" starts to play in my head.  All of nature wild and free....oh yes, that is what I want.  But there is more in your eyes than that, so much more.  I can see into the depths of your soul, and I see intelligence, sensitivity.  How do I know?  I just know.  Those eyes promise me endless nights of dancing beneath the stars, meaningful conversations, moments of quiet understanding.  But right now something more urgent moves me.  There will be time for the rest later....

Suddenly Diesel's dream is interrupted....“Mr. Diesel? I've finished digging the trench you told me to dig, now what should I do?”

Diesel squints into the sun and sees the outline of the college student he hired to help around the house for the summer. Damn kid, he thinks, just when I was getting to the good part.

“Go mow the lawn then.”  Diesel closes his eyes, anticipating the end of the dream.

“But Mr. Diesel, I already did that.”

“Well, how about the gophers?  Did you get rid of them?”

“Done it.”

“Then go wash my car.”

“Done that too.”

“Oh, just go and read Mercury Falls then”, hoping that would keep the kid busy and let him get back to his daydreaming.

“But, um, Mr. Diesel. I already finished it along time ago. It's hilarious!”

Stupid kid.  What a time to start doing stuff right!

And you too should do something right and go out and get a copy of Mercury Falls....right this minute! Trust me. It is hilarious....even Booklist agrees with me.

And Diesel, you have got to stop daydreaming about that sexy neighbor of yours!


  1. I'm afraid of being in love again...and always dreaming about a sexy neighbor :D

    Thanks sfor the comment. I'm following you on google too.

  2. Don't be afraid, otherwise you might miss out on the love story of the century! Besides, your sexy neighbor might even fall in love with you ;)