Some of you may have read this before, so you can pass Go, and collect $100 (but leave a comment first, or you'll only get $25). For those of you who are thinking "What the h$** is a Quill Driving competition?", I'm sorry to say the site no longer exists so I can't give you a link, but it was a damn fine writing competition with a great hostess (Cindra, will you come back if I say that enough times?). Anyway, the whole thing consisted in using a list of words to come up with a short piece of writing, and this is mine (I'll let you guess the words...not that I really remember what they were, but hey, guess away).
Her husband pushed her with the wickedest grin she had ever seen, and suddenly she was falling. With her arms flailing wildly, she plunged into the abyss. Her mouth opened to scream, but no sound came out, and what must have been only seconds seemed like forever, as her life flashed before her eyes. “Oh, so that really does happen,” she mused. She’d always thought that was just something writers had come up with to make a death scene more interesting.
There was that little ignoramus, Billy, from kindergarten. He always used to take away her lunch and stomp on her sandwich. Suffice to say, she’d given him what he deserved, that time she finally got up the courage to kick him in his dangly bits. Billy morphed into Mr. Brown, her boring math teacher, who used to take great pleasure in giving her detention for her tardiness. What a jerk! She looked up from her desk in the detention room and there was Lisa, her best friend from high school. Wait. They were fighting over something. What was it? She couldn’t remember what that fight was about, but they hadn’t spoken to each other since. She wished she had apologized for whatever it was, even if it wasn’t her fault.
Man, that wind rushing past her face was LOUD. She pushed away the disruptive thoughts about the wind, and ignored her pounding heart. She didn’t want to miss out on her life just ‘cos of some noisy air.
There was Pete, her ex, texting his friends while she was trying to have a meaningful conversation with him. God, he sometimes even stopped to send messages while they were in the middle of making out. That doofus had no sensitivity whatsoever. She hoped he’d appreciated her break-up message. So far, her flashback sucked. Where were all the good things? What about her first kiss? And her first time? Why wasn’t she reliving that? Okay, maybe it would be better to relive the second time, because the first sure wasn’t much to rave about. Pete’s cell phone looked suspiciously like that Lindt bonbon she’d had yesterday, the dark chocolate kind, her all-time fave! She could almost taste it again. Hmm, this was getting better. Hey, wait a minute! What was Denzel Washington doing in her life? As far as she could remember, he’d never been in it, although she didn’t mind him showing up. Wow, and he was naked too. What a cute ass! She turned to get a better look, and she found herself in bed with Hubby, nuzzled up against his shoulder. “That’s better,” she thought. “Now we’re getting to the good stuff! No, wait. I’m pissed at him for pushing me.” Hubby took on the form of a Pomeranian and was tap dancing to Tea for Two. Suddenly, Mrs. Gulch swooped down at them shouting, “I’ll get you, and your little dog too!” Whoa! This was all just too flippin’ weird for words.
She felt a tug on her harness, as she reached the end of her rope, and then came the rebound. When she finally came to a stop, hanging helplessly on the bungee cord, she shouted to the onlookers, “Hey, Y’all, that was fantastic! Now get me down from here so I can do it again.” Silently, she vowed to look up Lisa and make up with her before it really was too late.