Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Mmmmm Versace

My poor blog is feeling a little neglected, and so I'm just putting up a quick post to appease its greedy nature.
Catgirl finally made it to France and is having a brilliant time. At least that's one less thing to worry about. The new cat is finally here, and Mica still hasn't eaten him for breakfast, so we're satisfied. There's even been some butt-sniffing going on, and anybody who knows anything about cats knows that that is a good sign. Everyone else just thinks it's gross...okay, even cat lovers think it's gross, but that's the way it works. In any case, I am eternally grateful that humans do not make friends that way. We finally decided on Musu (Moose-sue) as a name for our twisty-tailed little guy, although Jesús likes just plain Mus better. But since it's my birthday cat...it's Musu.
As for me, I am not here.
I'm out shopping, drooling over Versace and Valentino dresses while the shop assistants sneer at me with that "that is way too expensive for you" look. Unfortunately, they're absolutely right. I would have to skip paying the mortgage for a month to be able to afford one of those. Meanwhile, all these rich women come in with their Prada boots and their Carolina Herrera bags, and walk out with half the store. Sigh. So, I'll look at the cheaper stores and hope to find a decent dress for Princess V's Communion. Otherwise I'll end up squeezing myself into last year's dress, which is just a tad too tight. I guess I just won't be able to breath for a few hours. That shouldn't kill me, right?
I knew this year's aerobics program was not going well, but until I tried the dress on, I had no idea just how bad things were.
Elephant boy quit after a week, and they sent us a girl who looks like a slightly older, brunette version of the cheerleader in Heroes. But I seriously doubt this one would survive walking though fire or falling off the building, although her laziness sometimes tempts us to give her a little push, just to see what happens. She's always late and is more worried about how her clothes look than about getting us into shape. Why should she care? She's already in shape, so this is just an easy way to make some money. She just smirks with that "Man, you guys are lame, and I am so very hot" smirk. And then she says "Come on girls, you can do it." Do what? Do you seriously call that exercise? We don't even break a sweat. Pathetic. After nearly eight months we're all in worse shape than we started.
So, I'm off to drool over some more dresses I can't afford, and to finger the silks and satins while nobody's looking.


  1. I feel your pain on the tight clothes. With the fall coming and getting back into teaching, I'm terrified that I'll be wearing the same outfit everyday since nothing fits well anymore. Too bad I can't do t-shirt and shorts at school.

  2. yeah i am SERIOUSLY glad i don't have to make friends by licking cat butt. i have an idea for you and the others in your fitness class. everyone get there early and super wax the front of the floor where the teacher stands. it will be good exercise and when miss perfect sneerry face comes in it will be entertaining to watch her slide down on her butt. be sure to bring musu so he can lick it for her.

  3. Management here does a lot of that butt licking too...

  4. There are two images in my mind after reading your post: (1) butt-licking cats and (2) aerobics in P.E. class. Which is worse? Actually, volleyball would be worse, now that I think about it.

  5. Happy hunting on the clothes. Facing a zipper that won't close is a grim reality we'd all like never to have to face again. Maybe we should just buy stretchy dresses :) I'm betting with a better instructor, you could be back in your dress in no time!

  6. I have these posh retail shops, I always feel bad coming in to check out the clothes I can't afford. I can always hear in my head: "too fat, too poor".

  7. That getting in shape thing--I get so depressed trying on clothes that I usually race home and crack open a beer.

    Good luck (it's fun to look, anyway).

  8. alice: Yeah, clothes can be a pain. Too bad I can't go to the communion in jeans and a t-shirt. I have lots of those.

    lime: You are wicked. ;) I love it. Now I just have to find a way to sneak in with some wax while no one is looking.

    ve: Eew. I hope they don't make you participate. ;)

    ms. duvall: How formal. I'd rather call you Bud. P.E. class. That brings back nightmares. But then again, we did have fun making up our version of handball. :)

    g: Unfortunately dress designers are used to skinny models, so I'm thinking the stretchy thing is not going to happen. I'm hoping for a better instructor after the summer...at least it can't get much worse.

    zhu: Usually I don't even go in, since I know I can't afford it, but this time I was checking out every possibility, hoping to find something reasonable. What I hate more than not being able to buy those clothes are the snooty salespeople that look down their noses at me.

    meg: A good beer is always a nice thing to come home to, but I guess that won't help me fit into my dress. :)

  9. Musu is a fine name for a cat.
    As to the shopkeepers,
    who would want to shop
    in a store where they look
    down their noses at you
    rather than lick your butt?