Monday, March 3, 2008

Minority Report - Spain

Believe it or not, elections are being held in other places besides the U.S.
General elections are coming up in a week here in Spain, but people seem almost more interested in the Clinton-Obama race than in what the Spanish candidates have to say. It's not too surprising really, since the Spanish Prime Minister looks a bit like Mr. Bean, and the leader of the other major party looks kind of like an overgrown nerd with a lisp, and their policies are wishy-washy at best.
Here are the two biggest fish in Spanish politics: Zapatero and Rajoy.

I'm observing it all as an outsider anyway, since I can't vote here yet, so I guess I can have a laugh about the whole thing. But who knows, maybe by the next time around I'll have solved my bureaucracy hassles and then I'll vote too. Hopefully by that time we'll have some more interesting candidates.
Or maybe I'll end up voting for one of these minority parties. There are nearly a hundred political parties that are vying for a spot in the Spanish Parliament. Besides the usual communist, fascist, and green parties, there are some other minority parties that caught my eye.
The Anti-smoking party (Partido No Fumadores). Okay, I hate second-hand smoke as much as the next non-smoker, but are these guys really the best ones to make decisions about the economy, education, etc?

For a Fairer World Party (Por Un Mundo Más Justo). This is a nice sentiment, but their logo looks too much like the have-a-nice-day smiley to be taken seriously.

The Anti-bullfighting party (Partido Antitaurino Contra el Maltrato Animal). I don't like bullfighting either, but a political party based on this? Seriously? Oh wait, they're against animal testing, fur coats, and letting cats sow their wild oats too. Well, that's a much broader obviously they can deal with the economy, unemployment, and terrorism. As long as we're nice to the animals, everything else will solve itself, right?

The Navarre Cannabis Party (Representación Cannábica de Navarra). So, if these guys get in, they'll sit around stoned all day while they debate the important issues of state? Sounds kind of like Bill and Ted go to Parliament to me.

The Pensioners in Action Party (Partido de los Pensionistas en Acción). So, what will these guys accomplish for us? Lots of resorts for the elderly to play golf? Mandatory naps at lunchtime? Don't forget, no children allowed.

The Blank Citizens Party (Ciudadanos en Blanco). This is my favorite. As a non-party, they propose that rather than leaving your vote blank, as a protest against the other parties, you vote for them instead. If they win, their seat in the Parliament is left empty. Way to go! An invisible representative is just what I need to defend my rights.

I'm thinking that, when and if I ever get Spanish citizenship, I'll found the Night Owls of Spain Party to defend the rights of all the night owls that are now suffering at the hands of all those larks. The only problem, would my candidate make it to parliament on time?


  1. hey, i'd vote for your night owl party! if i were a spanish citizen....and i could get out of bed in time...

  2. I can't believe that Rowan Atkinson thing never occurred to me. I've never liked Zapatero's appearance, but all I could come up with before is that he's vaguely rodent-looking.

    Rajoy just follows in the "ugliest facial hair ever" steps of his predecessor. The "overgrown nerd" phrase is good. He looks more like the president of the chess club than of a sovereign nation.

    I won't be watching the debate tonight because I can't listen to Rajoy speak for more than about 3 minutes before the thoughts of violence begin. More because of his politics than his lisp. I'd take Mr. Bean over him any day.

    I'm all for founding a "Partido de Estadounidenses Nacionalizados In Spain" (bilingual name for acronym purposes). We're a growing minority!

  3. Those are funny. I hope you made them up. I'd vote for Mr. Bean. He always did say "Gracias" in whatever country he was in...

    Don't forgot, being a part of the Partido Antitaurino Contra el Maltrato Animal is a noble endeavor!

  4. Leave your vote blank? BRILLIANT! What an awesome idea! That'll show those losers in government. Blank votes! Wow.

    (I was being sarcastic, by the way ...)

  5. I'm with Lime. I'd totally move to Spain and join your night owls party.

    It's 11:12 p.m. as I post this, and I'm just getting started.

  6. I like the Blank Citizens Party, but instead of leaving the seat empty, I think they should fill it with a monkey. It'd be interesting to see what kind of voting patterns the monkey would have. I bet it would do better than most . . .

  7. lime: That might keep me from voting too. :)

    erik: Lol, I like your new party, but I get the feeling that not too many women will be signing up. I really can't handle either ZP or Rajoy, but I guess we'll have to put up with whoever wins. I'm thinking that if Spain had a goundhog and he saw either of these two, he'd hide immediately, and we'd have 4 more years of political winter.

    ve: Maybe the real Mr. Bean would do a better job. All those parties are real...kind of tells you the state of Spanish politics, doesn't it?

    dorky dad: Yeah, that'll show 'em.

    jocelyn: Maybe we should make an International Night Owl Party, and rule the whole world....mwahaha!

    jonada: Sad to say, but you're probably right.

  8. Buenos tardes! We just took our first Spanish class this past Monday, tres de Marzo. I'm going to come visit you when I know how to ask for directions to su casa.

  9. Hmm Theresa ,
    The man need both a haircut haha You can really make me VERY happy with Mr Bean's humor!!!

    Thanks for visiting my blog and yeh I understand why you like a lot from Holland, thoug I like Spain too and a lot of other countries, like France, But Holland is very dear to me:)

    Greetings from JoAnn
    Come and visit my blog and look what I posted with ABC's G ?

  10. Ok, wow...I knew about Zapatero, I am European after all. In iceland at the moment, the elections we most are concerned with is in Rusiia, the "After Putin" area and what do you know another puppet is well under way.

  11. oh that Blank Citizens Party is jut too stupid!!! ...wait a minute, i voted for "uncommitted" in my Primary election, so who am i to talk!?!

  12. That Mundo Más Justo logo looks like it was designed by a six year old. I think I would rather just vote for a six year old.

  13. That video is hilarious!
    I love Mr. Bean!
    So since you're following the politics here at home, who do you like out of the 3?

  14. Diesel does have a point above. That six year old probably can't F up things any worse then the adults we pick.

    On a side note, is it better to have a bunch of party options and a watered-down vote or just two options but more meaning behind each vote?

  15. frogster: Mi casa es tu casa. When you figure out how to ask for directions, I'll explain them to you in Spanish. The first part's easy, just hop on a plane to Spain, but from there...

    joann: I like Mr. Bean, but don't know if this one knows what he's doing.

    minka: Yes, Russia is another worry, but until the elections are over here, nobody will pay much attention.

    minijon: I didn't even vote in the primary because my ballot didn't get here on time.

    diesel: That would probably be more productive too.

    zoa: Yay, you're here! I guess I'll go with Obama, but I'll vote Democrat no matter which of the two wins.

    Chris: Yeah, Diesel is usually right. Actually, only the two biggest parties ever win. If they don't have absolute majority they join up with the smaller parties, which can be good or bad, depending on which parties. Both systems have advantages and if we could take the best of each and combine them...but it'll never happen.