Friday, December 7, 2007
Don't Forget to Flush
Yesterday we woke up to find that we had only one roll of toilet paper left.
Most people might think, "So what's the big deal?" But it was a national holiday, which means nothing, absolutely nothing is open (except bars and restaurants, because people need to eat and drink - especially drink, it seems), and there are five people living in this house, three of whom know no limit to toilet paper use. They've actually managed to clog the pipes with the stuff in the past and even though we tell them to use only what they need, their idea of what they need and ours are quite different (one would think they're trying to soak up Lake Michigan from the quantities they use, but they haven't admitted to it so far). I considered asking The Frogster to send some over, since he seems to have a surplus, but I figured the stores would be open before it ever got here, so we crossed our fingers and hoped to last out the day and go out and buy more in the morning.
For some reason the whole thing brought back memories of when I was a kid and we used to visit my grandparents in Holland.
Yes, I have toilet paper memories, don't you?
As soon as they knew we were coming, they would stock up on the cheapest toilet paper they could find, because my sister and I were notorious toilet paper wasters (now I know where my kids get it from - there's a specific gene for toilet paper wasting). I can still remember that scratchy grey paper that left our tender tushies in pretty bad shape.
I couldn't find a picture of it (the toilet paper, not the tushy) so I posted one of normal toilet paper. Needless to say, the stuff my grandparents bought didn't look a thing like that.
It's a wonder that the pipes didn't back up all the way to the next town because the stuff was amazingly thick. It always reminded me of that writing paper we used to get in grade school, the kind made of rough paper with the lines printed horizontally, that every so often our pencils got stuck on, because of a chunk of thicker material. And if you tried to erase something, you ended up rubbing a hole into it in spite of the thickness (I'm sure there must be some scientific reason behind it, but beats me if I know what it is). Why is this sounding so familiar? I'm sure someone has blogged about this before (I just can't seem to shake this feeling of blogà vu). Anyway, our butts suffered, and I think once I asked if all the toilet paper in Holland was like that, and my mom cleared the matter up, telling me that we used too much. But that didn't stop us until we had to start buying our own. And if our kids don't stop using so much toilet paper, we may have to resort to buying that very same stuff.
Hear that kids?
On another ass-related note, we were watching yet another episode of Friends the other day, when Chandler made a joke about Uranus and my husband thought this was hilarious. This just isn't funny in Spanish, because it doesn't make any sense, so now that we can see the show in English (thanks to the wonder of digital TV) we actually get the jokes. Anyway, I told him that this used to be a big joke in junior high, which the boys found especially funny (okay, we girls did too, but we pretended we didn't). And then I got to thinking about junior high, and I remembered there was a guy whose name was Ahson Butt. I haven't thought about him in ages, and all I remember was that he was a very strange boy, but then again who wouldn't be with that last name? The poor guy really was the butt of everybody's joke.
Aren't kids cruel (and the bloggers who blog about it too)?
I dragged out my old yearbooks and had a look, and what do you know, we all looked about as goofy as Ahson Butt (even the kids voted best-looking). I guess time puts everybody in their place, but I at least I hope Ahson changed his last name.
Oh, and if you're interested, we made it with only one roll, and we didn't even have to resort to tearing up our bathroom reading material and using that instead. And if you're looking for reading not of the bathroom sort (unless your laptop accompanies you to the loo, and if it does I really don't want to know), the new entries will soon be up over at The Great Quill Driving Competition. But you still have time to submit something yourself, so hurry and write something quick, there's a great prize at stake.