For lack of anything to post about, and so as not to inflict any more bad poetry on people, I decided to take a quick trip to the hairdresser, since that is one of the best places around to get either some juicy gossip, or at least some funny anecdotes.
While I was there, I decided to cut off my boring old ponytails, and give in to the newest hair trend that's going around; the inverted bob. I have to admit, I was inspired by Zoning Out Again, who is going to cut off her amazing hair and donate it to Locks of Love. While my hair wasn't long enough to donate it to anybody, it did need a change, and since the bob has been popping up on heads all over, it has seeped into my brain as the new hair must-have. I decided to find a picture on Internet and print it out to take to the hairdresser's, since I am wary of that scissor-happy clan known as hairstylists. What I discovered is that my dream hairstyle is now called the "pob" since Victoria Beckham has re-popularized it.
What? But I can't stand her.
Over here we would say she is a "petarda," which means something like an annoying person, but has a much more satisfying sound to it. Actually, I would say something like "Esa tía es una petarda de marca mayor," which more or less means "That girl is a major pain in the ass." (By the way, "tío" is a very useful word in Spanish; it works kind of like "guy" in English, with "tío being for men and "tía" for women.) Why do I feel this way? Maybe it's because she has flipping wodges of cash, and can afford to buy things like Audrey Hepburn's little black Breakfast at Tiffany's dress. It could be because she lives in a $22 million mansion in Beverly Hills. Or the fact that she's married to a handsome football star (okay, soccer for all those in the U.S.).
Nah, I wouldn't trade my husband for David Beckham, even if you added in all the cash and the mansion.
But I think what bugs me most, is that bored pout she's got on her face all the time, like she could care less about all the things she's got. Anyway, I overcame my reluctance to pay homage to the "petarda" by copying her style, and got myself a "pob." But I can't help but wonder what this woman did to deserve having the name of the hairstyle changed. Didn't Jennifer Aniston do this look a few years back, albeit a bit longer? Why didn't they name it after her? Well, I guess the "job" is not quite as catchy as the "pob", and it could lead to some confusion. Imagine someone saying to a friend, "Oh, I see you got a job," and the friend, who's been working at the same place for ages, might say, "Yeah, but I've had it for years. What rock have you been hiding under?"
Still, I'm sure that all Posh Spice did was to listen to some clever hairstylist tell her that with this look she'd be fab, and that women everywhere would go running to get their hair cut the same way. And the worst part is, they were right. She's probably even earning a commission every time some woman gets a "pob" somewhere. I hate to think that I'm contributing to this "petarda's" vast fortune, but the collective fashion identity got the better of me, and now I'm just another victim of Posh.
So, I went from this:
At least I did get a funny anecdote to share.
First, the hairdresser was late. She came running in with the excuse that she'd just popped out to do some laundry for her sister-in-law, who is having her kitchen remodeled (in Spain, most people have the washing machine in the kitchen). She told me she wanted to wait for the load to finish, because she wasn't sure her sister-in-law would figure out how to open the machine.
Come on. How hard can it be?
As far as I know you don't need a college degree to open a washing machine. But I didn't say anything, since this kind of thing is what happens in small towns in Spain...and this woman was about to take scissors to my hair.
But there are advantages to small towns too; the other day I got to the supermarket just when the owner was about to leave, he saw me look disappointed, and opened up so I could do my shopping.
Anyway, back to my hairstylist. After giving me more details about her sister-in-law's future kitchen than I really needed to know, she started telling me about her kids, who go to the same school as mine. It seems that the other day her youngest came home from catechism and told her, "They want to know if I've been immunized." Her mother was perplexed, after all what does being immunized have to do with religion?
Is there some new vaccine against sin that we don't know about? If there is, would we really want it?
After a moment she realized what had happened and she asked, "Could it be that they want to know if you have been baptized?" To which, the girl answered, "Oh yeah, that silly thing." I'm guessing the girl is not looking at a future as a nun. But if you are looking for a future of laughter, look no more, Central Snark has everything you need.