Monday, August 20, 2007

Humans: You can't live with 'em...but they feed you

My humans have done it again! First, they bring a young whippersnapper into my kingdom, one who used to eat my food, sleep in my bed, scratch on my scratching post, and worst of all, sleep on my humans' laps...Okay, he didn't turn out to be so bad after all, and I actually missed him when he was gone.

Next, those darned humans went and left me in a place filled with other cats and a particularly vociferous chihuahua; I heard them say something about a vacation, now what kind of vacation is that, I ask? A cramped cage, bad food, a bunch of yowling fools, and a yapping rat is not what I call a vacation.

Now I'm finally home, and have been nothing but sweet and attentive (I didn't even take revenge by peeing on the bed like some other cats do, that's just too vulgar, besides you attract more flies with honey than vinegar), and what do these people do? They come home with another intruder.

This one looks a lot like the other one, but she's smaller, but if they're trying to fool me I'm not falling for it. And now they're all, "Oh look she's eating, how cute!...Oh look, she's using the box, how cute!...Oh look, she's taking a poop, how cute!" Gag me with a hairball! Come on people, I mean, when was the last time anyone watched me eat? And I make much less of a mess than this little fur ball. When was the last time anyone said, "Oh look, Cleo's using the box, how cute!"...or, "Oh look, Cleo's taking a poop, how cute!" After all, my poops are much bigger and smellier, doesn't that count for anything?

She's even got fleas, ear mites, and lord-knows-what-else. They've already given her three baths, and spent hours combing her. When was the last time anyone gave me a bath?...Uh, wait a minute... Forget I said that. Now they just came home from the vet, and she's covered with all kinds of sticky stuff to get rid of all the nasty bugs she's got, and what's worse, they put some on me too! If that little rat hadn't come along, I wouldn't have this stinky stuff on my neck (Damn, I can't reach to lick it off).

And her name...Don't even get me started on her name. They're calling her Mica - Have you ever heard such a silly name? It's nothing like my name, Cleopatra, now that's a regal name...

At least those confounded humans aren't letting that free sample of a cat out in my garden, after all a cat's garden is her kingdom...Give me a garden where the moles roam free, and I can catch the birds that roost in the tree...Sorry, the stress must be getting to me...Well, I'm off to survey what's left of my kingdom, and while I'm there, I think I'll just make a little statement of protest in the form of a poop left right in the middle of the path...That'll teach 'em not to mess with Cleopatra, Queen of Mutilva Baja.


  1. rofl!!! I bet that's what Cleopatra ws thinking, too!

  2. Cleo I totally understand how you feel you poor thing! On the other hand little Mica looks adorable and you two hopefully will be good friends after a while. Theresa, Mica is a beautiful kitty , where did you get her? The girls must be thrilled with this new addition to the family.

  3. What a little sweetie pie!
    Cleo will get used to her and love her as everyone else does. It just take a while for the jealousy to wear off. :0)

  4. Cleo, humans are pathetic. If my humans (I own two) had the gall to bring another cat into my kingdom, I'd have to restrain myself from ripping their throats out as they slept. Of course this would also mean that they wouldn't be able to feed me.

    So pooping on their keyboard is the next best thing.

    Purrrrrrr ....

  5. Pavel: Cleo is absolutely horrified with the intruder, she keeps coming in, checking to see if Mica is still there, hissing at her and running outside again. Every once in a while she also swats her to teach her who's boss. The same thing happened with Coco, the other kitten we had, but after a week they were the best of friends.

    Mem: She's cute, isn't she? We found her on Internet, these days you can find just about anything that way.

    Zoa: Cleo's just a big wuss in the end, she's actually more scared of Mica, than Mica is of her. She's thinking, "This little 900 gram fur ball is a huge threat, so I better act all tough and she'll leave me alone."

  6. Lulu: Don't you know it, girl! But those humans do feed us, and I for one love eating, so what's a cat to do? Hmmm, I hadn't thought of that pooping on the keyboard thing, my humans do spend a lot of time on the computer. I'll just wait until they're not looking and...maybe they'll even blame the free sample cat. ;)

  7. L'épouse: Thanks, we're really happy to have found her, and she seems really sweet so far. Of course, that doesn't mean we love Cleo any less (are you listening Cleo? And I heard that remark about pooping on the keyboard, so watch it).

  8. Is that short for "Formica"? Maybe because she won't get off the kitchen counter?

  9. Hi Theresa.....Your new seal-point is beautiful.

    We "inherited" a full grown female, who joined Hubby and me and our all black, half-siamese, male, "Spot". (Thank goodness Spot has the short-hair-that-rarely-falls-out-gene.) We've been a foursome for three years and Spot and Smudge still haven't bonded. I grab the camera if they're within two feet of each other because it happens so rarely. (Swiping at each other does not count on the closness scale.) Good thing they were both over ten years old when they first started sparring because, with age, comes wisdom. They, therefore, have the good sence to tolerate each other. I hope yours do better. With the age difference between Cleo and Mica, I feel it will......Judy

  10. Diesel: Nope, actually it's short for "Missile d’interception et de combat aérien" (Interception and Aerial Combat Missile), since she acts like a missile to intercept and combat aerial attacks by Cleo. ;)

    j.d.: Some cats never get along, my mom has two and they tolerate each other, but they don't like each other. With Coco, Cleo got used to him in about a week. We found him and were going to give him away, but then they started getting along so well that we decided to keep him. Wow! A cat that hardly sheds is a rare cat, indeed. You're lucky, all the cats I've had shed like crazy.

  11. awwwww... your new kitty is absolutely adorable. she seems to fit right in, despite Cleo's protestations. here's hoping they learn to co-exist, peacefully! ; )