Friday, June 8, 2007

Welcome to Jamaica

Okay, it's Friday and I know no one feels like reading long posts, so I'll leave you with a joke. Every once in a while I check out The Rising Blogger to find some interesting new blogs, and today I came across "The Iceland Weather Report" with a post on a penis mall. Well, that reminded me of a joke my husband likes to tell, especially after a leisurely lunch with friends (Yes, telling jokes is an important part of any meal over here, and if they are dirty jokes, so much the better), so I looked around and found a version in English:

A few days before Jack married Wendy, he had her name tattooed on his penis to show her how much he loved her. When erect, the name was fully visible; but when deflated, it read "Wy". Wendy was delighted with Jack's "special emblem of devotion."

After the ceremony, they went to Jamaica on their honeymoon. Their hotel had two beaches, one traditional and one nudist. After two days of the traditional beach, Wendy suggested visiting the clothing-optional beach.

As Wendy lay on her towel in the hot sun, she asked Jack if he'd bring her a cold drink. He walked across the sand to the little hut and asked the bartender, who was also naked, for two frozen mixed drinks. Jack tried not to stare, but he noticed that the bartender had "Wy" tattooed on his penis.

"Hey", Jack said and smiled, "What a coincidence. Your girlfriend must also be named Wendy."

"Oh no, mon," the bartender said and laughed, "Mine say 'Welcome to Jamaica. Enjoy your stay.'"

The way my husband tells it goes something like this (mostly translated from Spanish):

Two guys are peeing, and one has "Pepa" tatooed on his penis. The second guy on seeing this, asks him if Pepa is his girlfriend's name. "No", he answers, "It actually says 'Producto de España'." Then the first guy sees that the second guy has "Resopla" ("sigh" in Spanish) tatooed on his, and asks him about it. Oh, that's just, "Recuerdo de una noche inolvidable que pasé en el verano de 1990 en Constantinopla" ("Souvenir of an unforgettable night I had the summer of 1990 in Constantinople)  o...I guess there's a version of this in every language.

And if that isn't enough for you, it's Friday - Hot Sex Day over at Central Snark.


  1. LOLOLOL thanks for a great laugh.

  2. I can hear it in Spanish right now... ha!ha!

  3. The joke sounded familiar and then I read the punchline - good one MON! Have a great weekend.

  4. reminds me of the old joke that men sometimes say on the rare occasion that two men go into a restroom together. For you ladies to get the joke, you must keep in mind that a urinal generally has a pool of water at its bottom. The first man starts his business at the urinal and says: "Brrr...the water in the bottom is cold!" To which the second traditional adds: "...and it's deep, too!"

  5. Theresa.....I'm still howling because you have a label entitled, "penis"......Judy

  6. I love that joke! I can't tell it to save my life... and now I can butcher it in two languages!!! =:-) thx.

  7. Hihihihi...that is a good you think we should start tatooing breasts and should we go from right to left, or up and down...or seems to matter!

    Lovely weekend, my sweet friend!

  8. Well, suck it.

    I actually came here to read a LONG post, and you give me this little thing?

  9. BAAHHH HAA HAA! Love those jokes in both versions! Jim's joke too!
    I have to write those down so I can remember them!
    As soon as I leave your page, I won't remember the jokes, but instead the words "penis" and "orgy"!

    BTW the penis mall is funny! :0D

  10. Myutopia: Just a bit of weekend fun - Glad you liked it.

    Rjlight: It's great in any language :)

    G: Hey mon, I'm sure that guy could show you Jamaica like nobody else can ;)

    Jim: Here any occasion is good for a joke, and they tell these even in mixed company - No complexes over here. I like that one too; over here it's about two guys standing on a bridge peeing and one says the water looks deep, and the other answers,"Yeah, and it's cold too."

    j.d.. Well, that should get people over here, after all sex and all that's related to it is what people look for most on Google ;)

    Minijon: Just practice and you'll get it...You could always have it tatooed somewhere so you don't forget ;)

    Minka: Hmm, I'm not too sure about tatooing my breasts, but you feel free to go ahead. Make sure it can be read by others, because that's the whole point, isn't it? So, from your right to your left; of course if you do the circumference it could be interesting to watch someone try to read it. So, what tatoo did you have in mind?

    Jocelyn: I figured the length of the penis made up for the length of the post ;)

    ZOA: Run, write them down! These are great for parties - you can amaze and amuse your friends.

  11. I remember this joke. It just causes me pain thinking of getting a penis tattoo.

    And I don't know any heterosexual males who would acknowledge having looked at another guy's unit.

  12. hmmm...this needs to be pondered seriously!

    a tatoo that is, not on my breast or anywhere near a private place though...on my ankle I felt would be kinda nice!

  13. What would it read if he got out of a cold swimming pool?

  14. kfk: Hi, good to see you :)

    Dorky Dad: Well, there are guys out there that get piercings in that area. So, which would be worse, a tatoo or a piercing? Maybe the guy was bi and was looking for someone to show him Jamaica. ;)

    Minka: What are you pondering? The tatoo or the fact that guys wouldn't admit having looked at another guy's willy? The ankle sounds safer than other more delicate areas :)

    Variant: Just "Y", I guess, or would it be "W"?

  15. Ha, ha, haaa! First time here (finally! I know, I know! You have been kind enough to visit me but our whirlwind experience con España has had me in its grips so forgive me!) and ooooweeee! I jump in to talk about penises? You are my kinda gal FO SHO!

    And though HUGE seems to be the order of the day for most, those penises are giving me nightmares and I have yet to sleep! Dios mio!

    Faboo place nueva amiga, and one I will add to the blogroll esta noche seguro ya que visitarte a menudo será mi placer!

    Que estes bien! Besos...

    Mizzy B

  16. Great blog!!

    I will be back for more


  17. Miz Bohemia: Welcome! Have you returned from your fabulous adventure? Penises aren't my usual topic, but after seeing the reaction this joke got, they just might be in the future. Don't let it keep you awake...Just imagine sipping a penis colada on a beach in Jamaica...Oops, I meant a piña colada. Que duermas bien y que sueñes con...unos tios macizos! Hasta pronto.

    Mike: Hi and welcome! I'm glad this little joke didn't scare you off ;)

  18. Wy?

    Uhm, good joke. Just posting here to mess up the comment counts in the later post. >:-)