Monday, June 18, 2007

The Way to a Blogger's Heart

My last post didn't seem to be too popular, judging from the number of comments it received, so I decided to take a look at the previous month's posts to see which topics got the biggest reaction. Here are the results (not including my own comments), ordered from newest to oldest:
And the winner is: Thermomix! - With a rousing 22 comments. And Dinner at Buckingham Palace was the big loser, with only 5 comments.
So, what does all this mean?
First, that I am getting nowhere near as many comments as Diesel...I'm going to have to ask him seriously about that pact he made with the Devil. Second, food seems to be even more popular than sex...Now that's a shocker! Who would have ever thought that people would be more interested in food than in sex.  Then again, without food there wouldn't be too much sex going on, I guess. And finally, politics is a no-no, at least from the looks of these results. My two least popular posts were about politics, even the post about lice got more comments. It looks as though I'll just have to swear off political commentary, but hey, I can always blog about parasites, that doesn't seem to bother anyone (Hey, wait a minute! I thought politicians were parasites).
Psychologist that I am, all these interesting numbers give me an urge to analyze the blog-reader mind, but I know I can't draw any real conclusions from all this because of all those uncontrolled variables and other stuff that scientific journals get very picky about (Damn that scientific rigor!). But, all seriousness aside, from the looks of things, the way to a reader's heart is through food, followed by sex. Stories about kids, animals, and a little religion every once in a while don't seem to hurt either. But politics is another story. Either people are bored by this subject, or it's just too touchy an issue, and somehow I think the latter may be the case. So, if you want to make your blog more popular, or at least get the more comments, you know what to do.
Well, I can't promise I'll never blog about politics again, but I'll try to stick to safer subjects, and since food seems to be the most popular topic, I found a little joke to share about a guy who goes to his girlfriend's house for dinner:
A guy goes to his girlfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is his first time meeting the family and he is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
He begins to feel a little uncomfortable, thanks to his nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains practically make his eyes water. Left with no other choice, he decides to relieve himself a bit and ever so gently lets out a tiny fart. It isn't very loud, but everyone at the table hears the poof.
Before he even has a chance to be embarrassed, his girlfriend's father looks over at the dog that is snoozing under the guy's chair, and says in a rather stern voice, "Rover!".
The guy thinks, "This is great! He thinks it's the dog!". A big smile comes across his face. A couple of minutes later, he is beginning to feel the pain again. This time, he doesn't even hesitate. He lets out a much louder and longer rrrrrip.
The father again looks at the dog and yells, "Rover!". Once again the guy smiles and thinks, "Yes! This is perfect!". A few minutes later he needs to let another fart. This time he doesn't even think about it nor does he hold back. He rips a fart so big and so loud that it makes the windows vibrate.
Once again, the father looks at the dog with disgust and yells, "Dammit Rover get out from under the chair before he shits on you!
Okay, okay, that wasn't really about food, but farts always seem to be good for a laugh too(or maybe I just spend too much time with my kids). Now, if you want a really good laugh, head on over to Central Snark, where you'll find all the hot topics: food, sex, kids, animals, name it, it's there. And the link makes a really nifty fart sound when you click on it....Okay, I'm just kidding.


  1. Boy have I been through this, analyzing my posts and figuring out what atrracts people to open the comment section adn leave something.

    Mostly I found...

    a) the weekend is a lousy time to post, everybody seems to be busy with family and stuff and hardly spends time online. Bloggers happen in teh weekdays, when at work behind a computer ;)

    b) the length of posts matters so much. If you are a serious blogger and you have about 30 blogs you go to, two pages of small print in one post make you skip

    c) it takes a bit to get a daily crowd...there are 5 or 6 bloggers i know I´ll see in my comment section almost underneath every post, regardless of the content ;)

    ok, I don´t know why...but i felt I needed to throw my two cents in :)

    can I also haten to add, that I think you have a wonderful sense of humor?!

  2. Okay, that had to be a Spanish joke... well, except for the broccoli casserole... hmm what would it have been bacalao topped with beans? no, hmmm...

  3. Most of the people who comment on my blog are demons from the blackest pit of hell. Beggars can't be choosers.

  4. Minka: You are always welcome to throw in your two cents worth over here. You're right about weekends, at least in my case the kids and the husband don't let me blog too much. Short but sweet, got it - a bit hard with politics, so that's out. And it does take time, I started at the end of January, so I'm pretty happy with my crowd, besides it's quality not quantity that matters and my commenters are the best :)

    rjlight: Actually, I first heard that joke in college, but I'm sure there's a Spanish version of it somewhere. There's a saying over here, "Caga el rey y caga el Papa. De cagar nadie se escapa..." and I think that holds true for farts too ;)

    Diesel: So, not only are you funny, but you're modest too ;)

  5. Eeek, what a concept analyzing your comments to see what is most popular. Hmmmm...Yes, definitely the weekends are still less popular but I will blog then if I feel like it. I think for my blog, most popular are the very personal stories or the posts with a lot of pics. But to be honest, I never have thought about it. Maybe I should. But at the same time, I never know what my post is going to be until I sit down and write it and I think it is better to just let it flow.

  6. Your blog is AWESOME!
    Great joke! For some reason farting, belching and pretty much anything to do with the lower region of the body are always winners with kids and more so with adults!

    Sorry I was away and couldn't read your new posts.
    Great previous post about Bush and God.

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE the part about *all Gods in different religions ending up being The One and Only God!* We really do think alike! That's exactly the way I see it! :0)
    I think what throws everyone off is "do not worship any false gods", which I believe he is really saying "don't get wrapped up in the likes of Santa Clause, Hollywood Celebrities, etc.".

    Great post! Just got back from vacation to some really great posts and still have a lot to catch up on!

    You're on a roll over there at diesel's caption contest! I trust you will be in the top ten again and DAMN IT you'd better win something or I'll be over there demanding a recount! :0) You had so many funny ones, it'll be difficult to choose! :0)
    I think tonight after I get home from work I'm going to grab my poker buddies and we'll all have a nice glass of wine and read through your votes to choose the best one. I need help for this one! :0) GOOD LUCK OVER THERE!

  7. I meant *read through your comments*.
    I know you knew what I meant! :0)

  8. the more i analyze my blog stats, the less happy i am. i just gotta go with the flow and not really care where people come from when they hit my blog.

  9. It's impossible to figure out what will cause people to comment on a post. All you can really do is write the best you can. And you do great, by the way. I like your blog. That was a great joke.

  10. Maryam: You don't need to worry about which of your posts are most popular because they are all fascinating. And the pictures are amazing. When I visit your blog it's like being transported to another world, a kind of fantasy land, where people have gardens filled with exotic flowers and peacocks as pets.

    ZOA: You're back! I missed you, but I hope you had a great vacation. I'm glad you liked my Amazing Dream post, it just kind of came to me and I couldn't resist writing it, kind of like the All About Eve one. I don't really have the religion thing all figured out yet, but my guess is as good as any.

    Minijon: Oh, I just did this "analysis" for fun. It's curious to see what people find interesting, and often the comments are even better than the post itself. The whole blogging experience is just a lot of fun for me; I started out without a clue and now I have a great bunch of readers and I'm finding great new blogs to read every day. :)

    Dorky Dad: Thanks. Here I am blogging by the seat of my pants. Lot's of times I just write the first thing that comes to mind, other times I have an idea and I mull it over until it forms into something acceptable. I started blogging for my family, but it's turned out to be so much more, it's an open window to a whole world of terrific blogs. And I love your blog too, especially the posts about your son; kids can be so funny and drive you crazy at the same time.

  11. You know you really tantalized us with the Tales of the Thermomix...and well, sex sells baby.

    Often it's just timing and I know in my case, I can go days without being able to blog and then it's hard catching up. Keep doing what you're doing whenever you feel like doing it. I love your blog.